If I Could Do It Over

A poem for Maddie, as she heads off to college
(8/30/14)

If I Could Do it Over 

Regrets, I've had a few.

You've heard them all before.

I'd change a million little things,

But keep a billion more.

If I could do it over,

I'd take you somewhere new.

Somewhere safer, somewhere sooner,

Where no harm could come to you.

I'd be a stronger mother,

Wouldn't hurt you with my fears,

I would let you forgo niceness,

If it meant preventing tears.

But we've had to learn some lessons,

In sometimes the hardest ways,

About cruelty and kindness,

About love and about pain.

Though if I could do it over,

But still couldn't fix the bad,

Yes, I would, and without question,

Repeat all the times we've had.

Because my life with you has been

Worth every battle fought,

And the lessons were worth learning,

Despite how they were taught.

Of the billion things I'll keep with me,

When you walk out the door, 

Are every smile, laugh, and late-night talk-

I'd have always wanted more.

And though I would make changes,

Though regrets I've had a few,

No matter how I write it,

The thing I wouldn't change is you.

In all your joys and your successes,

In how you're strong and how you're kind,

My love for you is in all you do.

In your life I am entwined.

Now this chapter's come upon us,

It's a very real goodbye.

My pride in you, it overflows,

You can see that when I cry.

They are tears of joy and sadness,

Tears of hope and letting go,

Of excitement, fear and gladness,

And of how I love you so.

Please know I've tried my best for you,

As a mother and a friend.

Now go. Go write your story.

As this is not The End.